Your surrogacy process will be a marathon, not a sprint. Take good care of yourselves during this time. Rely on your village. We are here for you!
Whether you’re working with a surrogacy agency or pursuing an independent surrogacy path, having a clear roadmap helps you stay organized and confident throughout this life-changing process. This independent surrogacy checklist breaks down the process into three manageable stages, each with specific milestones that bring you closer to meeting your baby.
Key Takeaways
Surrogacy laws vary by state, so ensuring your gestational carrier resides in a surrogacy-friendly jurisdiction is essential for securing pre-birth orders and protecting parental rights.
Both intended parents and surrogates must have separate, specialized legal counsel to draft comprehensive gestational surrogacy agreements that protect everyone involved.
The surrogacy process follows three main stages: matching, medical and legal preparation, and pregnancy through birth, with each stage requiring specific documentation and coordination.
Pre-birth parentage orders are obtained around 16 weeks of pregnancy and take approximately 4-6 weeks to secure in North Carolina, ensuring your names appear on the birth certificate.
Thorough medical and psychological screening of potential surrogates establishes the trust and safety necessary for a successful partnership.
Understanding Your Legal and Financial Foundation
Before you begin actively searching for a gestational carrier, it’s important to understand the legal landscape that will shape your process. Surrogacy laws vary significantly from state to state, so one of your first priorities is ensuring your potential surrogate resides in a jurisdiction that supports your specific family structure. Look for states that readily grant pre-birth orders, which allow you to be recognized as the legal parents from the moment of birth. This step is particularly important for LGBTQ+ families, as it provides the legal security and peace of mind your family deserves.
Stage One: Day One to Surrogate Match
This initial stage focuses on laying the medical and matching foundation for your surrogacy arrangement.
Select a medical clinic. Your fertility clinic will be central to your surrogacy process. Look for a clinic with experience in gestational surrogacy cases and strong success rates.
Decide on medical procedures and timeline with your doctor. Meet with your reproductive endocrinologist to discuss your specific situation, medical protocols, and embryo creation timeline.
Research and select donors, if needed. If you’re using an egg donor, sperm donor, or embryo donor, decide between known donors and anonymous donors, which has different legal implications.
Begin your search for a surrogate match. Whether working independently or through an agency, finding the right gestational carrier takes time. Consider your preferences for communication level, relationship style, and location.
Select and engage a surrogacy agency (if planning to use one). Many intended parents find that working with a surrogacy agency streamlines the matching process.
Make embryos. Have your embryos PGS-tested if desired. Create embryos through IVF. Many intended parents choose preimplantation genetic screening to test embryos before transfer.
Communicate with surrogate candidates and select a match. Have conversations with potential gestational carriers, get to know each other, and determine if you’re a good fit.
Screening Your Potential Match
Once you’ve found a potential match, ensure they are physically and mentally prepared for the process. Coordinate with a fertility specialist to conduct a thorough medical records review, including past pregnancy history and overall health. This transparency builds a healthy, trusting partnership.
Comprehensive background checks help create a secure environment for your growing family. Standard screening includes criminal records checks and financial stability verification. A successful match is built on shared values and clear communication, so discuss expectations regarding update frequency and medical preferences during pregnancy.
Stage Two: Surrogate Match to Transfer
Once you’ve matched with a gestational carrier, the focus shifts to medical clearances, psychological evaluations, and legal protections.
Obtain medical clearance for your surrogate. Your gestational carrier will undergo medical screening at your fertility clinic to confirm she’s healthy and ready for pregnancy.
Obtain psychological clearance for your match. All parties will complete psychological evaluations.
Enter into a legal contract with your surrogate and her spouse/partner. A well-drafted gestational surrogacy agreement covers everything from medical decision-making to compensation and delivery preferences. Most fertility clinics will not proceed with transfer until a signed contract is in place. The gestational carrier should have independent legal counsel. We walk you through what a gestational surrogacy agreement covers and why it’s essential.
Research and ensure you have a plan for your surrogate’s health insurance. Not all policies cover surrogacy pregnancies. Many intended parents set up an escrow account to manage payments and medical expenses.
EMBRYO TRANSFER. Your gestational carrier will undergo the embryo transfer at your fertility clinic, then you’ll enter the waiting period to confirm pregnancy.
Drafting Your Legal Contract
Both you and your surrogate need separate, specialized legal counsel to ensure everyone’s interests are represented. We help you address parental rights, financial reimbursements, and medical decisions with clarity. A well-crafted agreement ensures your path to legal parenthood is secure regardless of the state where your surrogate resides or where the birth occurs. Once finalized and signed, you can move forward with the medical phase with complete peace of mind.
Stage Three: Transfer to Birth
The final stage covers pregnancy confirmation through birth, including obtaining your pre-birth parentage order.
Confirmation of pregnancy (share your due date with your attorney). Once pregnancy is confirmed, let us know the due date so we can plan the timeline for your pre-birth parentage order.
Start pre-birth parentage order process (around 16 weeks of pregnancy). We’ll begin the legal process to establish your parental rights before birth.
Attorney obtains pre-birth parentage order (approximately 4-6 weeks later in NC). We’ll secure your pre-birth order, which directs the hospital to place your names on the birth certificate.
Tour hospital and speak with personnel about delivery arrangements. Visit the hospital where your baby will be born and discuss your preferences.
Arrange for health insurance for your baby upon birth. Make sure you have insurance coverage in place for your baby from the moment of birth.
Make travel arrangements (if necessary) for the birth. BRING YOUR PARENTAGE ORDER WITH YOU. If traveling to be present for the birth, bring your pre-birth parentage order. This document is essential at the hospital.
Meet Your Baby! Welcome your little one into the world and into your family.
Your Path Forward with Village Law Group
Following this independent surrogacy checklist helps you stay organized and confident as you move through each stage of building your family. We understand that managing the legal aspects of surrogacy can feel complex, particularly for LGBTQ+ families and those pursuing independent arrangements.
At Village Law Group, we provide the legal guidance you need to protect your family at every stage. Our surrogacy legal services include drafting comprehensive gestational surrogacy agreements, securing pre-birth parentage orders, and ensuring your parental rights are protected from the beginning. We’ve helped countless families through this process, and we understand the unique legal considerations that surrogacy arrangements require.
Download a printable version of the checklist here. If you have questions about the legal aspects of your surrogacy process, contact us because sometimes, it takes a village. You should also take a look at our Surrogacy 101 Guide for more information.
Frequently Asked Questions
Why is the surrogate’s location important for legal rights?
Surrogacy laws vary significantly by state. You need to ensure your surrogate lives in a jurisdiction that supports your family structure and allows pre-birth orders. This is particularly important for LGBTQ+ parents to ensure you can be recognized as legal parents immediately.
What is a pre-birth order and why do we need one?
A pre-birth order is a legal document that establishes you as the legal parents before the baby is born. Securing this order ensures your names go directly on the birth certificate at the hospital, providing immediate legal recognition of your parental rights.
Can we use the same attorney as our surrogate?
No, both you and your surrogate must have separate, independent legal counsel. This ensures that everyone’s interests are properly represented and protects all parties throughout the surrogacy arrangement.
How long does the pre-birth order process take in North Carolina?
We typically begin the pre-birth order process around 16 weeks of pregnancy, and it takes approximately 4-6 weeks to obtain the order in North Carolina. This timeline allows us to have everything in place before your baby’s birth.
Is independent surrogacy a good option for LGBTQ+ families?
Yes, independent surrogacy can work well for LGBTQ+ families when you have proper legal guidance and choose a surrogacy-friendly state. We help ensure your parental rights are protected throughout the process and that you can secure a pre-birth order.
Village Law Group
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